I watched as the clock slowly came to five o'clock in the cubicle, signaling for my time to get off shift. I stretched, got up and filed all the papers I collected into a folder. I had just spent so many hours going through the demon inventories in the council's record. I had narrow it down a lot from the types of demons I know off the bat would not be able to do this, but the pile was still pretty large from types of demons i didn't know. I would have to cross-reference them with the books at the Magic Box with Theresa.

Yeah, I never thought the day would come where I would actually be cross-referencing demons using Giles's books. I should check in to see if hell froze over again.

Well, the research would have to wait until later. Right now I was suppose to take my shift with watching Cristoff. Izzy told me that she would give Eva something that would let her sleep, because she needs her rest. Which I'm kinda glad for, considering I'm not sure if I would be able to handle watching Cristoff with a sleep-deprived overprotective Eva who it breaks her to see Cristoff in chains. Yeah, telling her to chain up her husband? Far from the best experience I've ever had. But what the hell else were we supposed to do?

I gathered up my things and teleported over to the mansion. Glanced into Eva's bedroom and smiled to see that she was out like a light. Poor kid, she was going through so much with this. Hopefully she'll have a good amount of rest and won't wake up pissed off while I'm in the middle of my watch.

Stepping down into the basment, I could feel it get colder as I walked down the stairs. I could see Cristoff lying in bed, chained to the Acathla statue just to make sure he couldn't get out. It was hard to tell if he was awake or asleep. Well, I would find out soon enough, i quietly walked over to the opposite side of the room, and grabbed the tranq gun that we guarded with. Heh, not that I would be able to aim the damn thing to save my life, but maybe Cristoff didn't know that. Then I crossed over to the bedside and sat on the stool next to the bed and waited.

Current Mood: determined

I left the hospital the moment I heard the doctor say that Cristoff would be okay. Both Izzy and Eva wanted to talk me, tell me that they were still my friends and my past doesn't change anything. But I didn't want to talk, I don't want to hear the sympatheic tones as they comfort me and say that it doesn't matter what I did in the past. Because then I know what would come next, the questions. Oh they might not come right away, but they would come eventually. About what exactly I did, how many I killed, why I did it.

Those questions I wasn't ready for yet. I have a hard enough time accepting what I did, I didn't want to share it with others.

Also I wanted to find out how the hell Cristoff knew. But he was incapatitated, and Eva was watching over him so I couldn't exactly just ask him. Besides, from how he was acting at Eva's house, I doubted that he would be able to give me a coherent answer. That would just have to wait for another day. All I know is that the only people who could of told him? Had to be from the council, they were the only ones that knew.

I wandered the streets for awhile, trying to figure out what the hell I should do. Something was definatly up with Cristoff, there was no way he just happened to guess what I used to be. He was acting too weird, something had to tell him. Something had to take him, shoot him, and then drive him insane so he was talking to people who weren't there. I mean, this is Sunnydale land of the strange, I refuse to accept a normal explaination if there was something supernatural that could explain it.

I hated to admit it, but I almost sort of wished Giles was around. Because I know that if we told him that stuff, after cleaning his glasses and insulting me in brit talk, he would pull something out from the books that would explain it. But nope, he was in England and made sure that I didn't know how to locate him. Git. But it was just then, as i was to the point where I was wishing that the annoying brit was here, I found my solution. I had looked up and saw the Magic Box, the magic store that the brit ran with that one blunt Anya women, and Benny worked there. Surely he had left behind some books in there that would explain what was going on. i mean fuck he didn't need them in England, there's nothign there besides watchers!

Entering the shop, i couldn't see anyone right as I came in. I know that Benny was at home, I had called her while I was at the hospital to tell her i would be coming in late. Giles was in England, what about that Anya girl? I couldn't remember if she stayed behind. And Mikka was fond of her, so she couldn't be the worse person in the world. "Um excuse me, Anya? Are you here?" I called out into the shop "um, anybody?"

Current Mood: distressed

Its been a pretty busy recently. I helped Ev get a drug to knock a kaliff demon out, went to Eva's wedding in Venice, tortured that Kaliff demon, and then got invovled in a mob shootout in the middle of Ralph's bar. All in all a pretty full week.

Apparently this is what i hear, is that Ralph had some enemy mafia guy who wants him dead right? Not sure why, some kind of family thing. Not really sure since I kinda fell asleep during the Godfather and thats the closest thing to mafia research I have. And one of his crew memembers, a moronic Kaliff demon who calls himself Kurt, betrayed him for this guy who so wittingly called himself "The Big Z". Which I mean come on, can we get any lamer than that? Ev found this out, and decided to get information out of him by first trying to seduce him, and then finally going with my plan of torturing the guy until he talked. Which as a lot more effective plan.

As it turns out, the creativily named Big Z (I just can't get over the lame) is related to Joey, who is Ralph's ex-girlfriend who seems to gone a bit psycho over the fact that Ev and Ralph got together. Yeah, I guess thats a note worth mentioning that Ev dumped Mikey finally and went for Ralph. Which in my own personal opinion? Major step up. Anyway, so of course this brings on this whole plot twist/betrayl/whatever mafias go on about, which honestly I don't really care too much about. But Ev does so I help her out, which ends, with me getting invovled in a goddamn fire-fight (without the fun burning fire) in the middle of Ralph's bar.

And then there was Eva's wedding in Venice. That was a very lovely event and everyone was happy and there was no mafia dealings or shootouts. Of course I found it amusing how many doubles were there, unlike my stiff-with-no-sense-of-fun double who rather insulted me about the possiblity of us being brothers. Ouch. But the rest of it was great, and Eva and Cristoff looked so happy about spending the rest of their lives together.

As for myself, I'm planning on being with India for tonight. Since i haven't really seen her much since we got back from Venice, and I feel bad about that. That and you know, go a night without having to worry about being in a shoot out or something.

Current Mood: busy

You know, you leave your journal alone for awhile. Thinking hey, maybe if I don't say anything nothing will happen right? I mean hell nearly everything weird as hell has worked in this town, might as well try that. Not so much though. Now the town is covered in demonic bunnies and more of those damn toads. They are all over the place and the fuckers even ripped apart one of the wheels of my bike. Rumor has it around work that this possibly could be another apocalypse since it is apocalypse season. Which you know, an apocalypse with bunnies and frogs? What the fuck? Is this years apocalypse being sponsered by Warner Brothers?

But I'm sticking to optimisim and rationality and hoping that this is just yet another quirk to this town. Because dude, I could not honestly think of a more pathetic apocalypse. Besides, people at work were so convinced that the movie Day After Tomorrow was a sign of the apocalypse, so I'm not going to believe them so quickly.

In other news Julian died...last month. Yet another thing I was trying to avoid talking about. Apparently Cristoff was the one to kill him. I have no argument with the fact that the bastard needed to die, personally I hope he's rotting in one of the worse hell dimensons out there. And so far, Cristoff seems okay with what happens. Everyone does, I'm pretty sure that everyone has accepted what happened and have moved on with their lives. It happened, its in the past and the bastard is done with. Nothing more, nothing less I guess. Not sure why it bothers me anymore than it should. Just one of those weird things i guess.

I also keep thinking of what Benny told me about how I need to look for a new job. Been keeping an eye out for one since then in my spare time. Though not like I have a lot of spare time, and not too many jobs would hire a person with my resume. Yeah, my skills include paperwork, typing, sacrifices, and evil deeds. Not too many jobs value that in their new employees, and Walmart isn't hiring. Maybe I'm just expecting too much, the ideal job isn't out there, I should probably just accept that and aim lower, I'm not sure.

Current Mood: discontent

You know, when I agreed to take the job of apartment manager for Rhia when she's gone, I thought it would just be paperwork, collecting rent, and showing people empty apartments. Okay, maybe the possible attempting to repair stuff before I finally give up and call a repair man, but I never expected much from the job.

But apparently the job description also includes fighting off a group of demonic acidic toads in Nick and Eric's bathroom. Huh, go figure. Only on the hellmouth.

Yeah, I was actually in the middle of having sex with India when Nick called saying that there were toads in his bathroom. Which dude, you have no idea how much that annoyed the hell out of me. I mean come on, of ALL times he decides to call about the damn toads. Honestly. So we go there very relunctaly and well, long story short, end up burning a hole through the floor right down to Mrs. Olsen's apartment. Which means we either had some real powerful acid, or some really shitty ceilings. Also I'm pretty damn sure that "demonic toads" is not covered by insurance, joy.

Just for crying out loud, demonic toads?? What the fuck? I know the hellmouth spits out some weirdass shit, but this is just damn ridiculous. And of all nights too, I mean come on, am I doomed to spend the rest of my life without having any sort of sex life with my girlfriend?

Though a small part of me is convinced that Nick set them in there on purpose to make sure to stop just that. I mean Sierra is dating him, she could of given them to him.

And in other news? Mikka called me and told me that she's going to be a broadway star. That someone actually wants her in New York. Okay, maybe she's finally cracked, but why not, go for it if she feels the need to. It might do her good to get away from the hellmouth for awhile. Especially if our plumbing is being invaded by fucking demonic toads.

Current Mood: cranky

Okay funny story. So we go to get Ev's little brother who is called Evan (but was nice enough to change to Col) so we can bring him back to Sunnydale where we can watch him. We get to the dimenson with no harm, no foul and meet her brother. Who which is beyond happy to see her again since whoops we have been missing from that dimenson for the past what? Two years? Well, in that two years, as it turns out, Col had aquired a wife that we were going to bring with as well.

A wife by the name of Isabella Hicks no less.

Me seeing this an oppertunity too golden to pass up, I get Penn to come to teleport her back. Of course he flips out like he normally does, and long story short I end up with a black eye. Which yeah, in retrospect? I probably deserved that. But sheesh, talk about anger management sometime? And when I have to say that, its bad. But anyway, after Penn gives me a new blackeye, we go back to our dimenson (well, the one I live in right now anyway) and Ev decides to have Eva meet her new brother and his wife. Then it turns out that at Eva's, Eva and Iz are there. And to say that they were a bit intoxicated would be an understatment, I would say that they were pretty much blasted. Which I gotta admit, made for some interesting conversations.Though I'm pretty sure Eva and Izzy both wanted to die of embarrasment afterwards.

As for now? I actually have a free weekend after so long. Which I'm spending it with India, since she's been annoyed at the fact that I've been gone so much. Which yeah, I get why she would be annoyed. I was getting annoyed by it too by the end. I mean come on, let me spend some time with my girlfriend instead of teleporting everyone around all the time. Especially when Col got all snobbish about not having me teleport him or Isabella. Oh please, I would like to see him do better.

Current Mood: cynical

Last weekend we went to look for Eva's father. Teleported to his dimenson with Ev, Evan and Mikka. No luck finding him, the rat bastard was no where to be found. We searched around his office though, found some stuff that would suggest that he's been doing dimenson hopping. Which dude, doesn't make much sense. Why would he be jumping dimensons?

Whatever, afterwards we went home because Evan and I needed to be at our jobs monday morning. Then Ev came by to talk to me. Apparently she was worried about me, because I didn't seem like myself. Especially after she heard about what happened with the mafia guys. So we talked for awhile and I finally broke down. I threw a glass across the room and everything I've been feeling just came to the surface. How i feel sick to my stomach about what happened, how I saw myself, everything.

The next day, I just decided to go for a long drive on my bike to clear my head. No where in particular. I just tried to think through everything that was going through my head. About what Ev told me, about the whole situation, why I am the way I am. All my life, I have been knocked down by so many people around me. From so many different people, I have heard about how worthless I am. How I'll never amount to anything and how i fuck up all the time. When you hear that enough times and so often, well you tend to believe it. I've done so many dumb things in my life to back up the theory too. I can never seem to get things right. I always seem to be bad at what I do. I can't teleport well, I barely graduated from highschool even WITH help, I'm bad at my job and have had the same position for close to a decade. And now? I killed with a soul, expecting it not to hurt but it hurts like hell. I don't even make a good killer, yet now its impossible to say that my soul is clean of that sort of stuff. I couldn't even control myself when my temper flared.

Well whatever, I'll process it all later. Right now I have to go and help Ev. According to her, the Julian that we've been hunting seems to be the one that is in our current dimenson and our old dimenson, the one where I first met her. Apparently the stuff we found in the office? Was being used for traveling dimensons. Apparently he's been doing some sort of sick experiment and having the same set of kids in each dimenson, seeing which ones turn out the best. How fucking sick is that? Well now we're off to retrieve Ev's little brother Evan, before Julian can get to him. Asked Mikka to go again, cause then I won't have to explain the entire thing. Because dude, its headache causing enough for me. I mean seriously, I'm suppose to get all this dimenson stuff and even I'm a bit confused.

Current Mood: pensive

Fucking hell. You know, it was bad enough that Ingrid got kidnapped during her date. i mean she came out fine, well as fine as you could if you got shot in the middle of the woods by a demon. She at least killed the demon that attacked her. In fact, she mounted the head of it in her bedroom which even I find a bit disturbing. Well I couldn't stop her, I checked every single paragraph on the buliding codes and there was no rules against mounting demon heads.

But this now, just fuck. Eva asked me to teleport her and Cristoff to her New Orleans so she could visit her Nana. Which I was happy to do, I brought Benny and teleported the two then went back home. A week later when I went to pick them up with Benny? I find out from Cristoff that her fucking father sold her out to the mafia. The same jackass that we had yelled at before. Well, the moment I heard about that I teleported to his office, to where he was before, completely ready to slit his throat for doing such a thing. Unfortunatly, the fucker wasn't there, a very surprised maid told me that he had left and she didn't know when he would be back. Goddammit, should of figured he would run like that after Cristoff went to him.

Instead, we spent the weekend looking for her. Finally, Evangeline pointed us to some warehouse through some clues. And after a lot of arguement we decided that Benny would sneak in and grab Eva while Cristoff and I caused a distraction invovling napalm and fire (yeah, my plan). Yeah, believe me I did not like the idea of sending my baby sister into a warehouse full of mafia guys, but it was better than sending Cristoff in. After Benny teleported her to Evangeline's and came back for us, Cristoff suggested I toss some more napalm on the roof. I liked the sound of that, and i told them to go on ahead of me and I would catch up. When they left? I lost my temper, I let all the anger I had for Julian and for these bastards that would harm Eva like that out. I just, started slaughtering. I haven't killed a human for nearly two years now, haven't even felt the urge to. But after what happened to Eva? Killing seemed like the best solution.

No one fucks with me or my people. Ever.

After I killed everyone in the building? I went to Evangeline's house and saw Eva. Seeing her like that, made me want to find and kill Julian all over again. But Eva wanted to go home and I'm pretty sure everyone would be getting worried about us if we didn't go home. So I got home. Found out that i had missed out on the memorial for the apocalypse. After I informed India that I was alive, I went home and crashed. Had a lot of nightmares about the building and the mafia guys. Guess it is different if you kill with a soul, didn't think about that. So sleep has been unrestful at best. But I've been pretty much joking around and acting like nothing is wrong so no one suspects. Funny how good I've gotten at that.

Also got a message from Evan. He heard about what happened and he wants me to come with him to kill Eva's Julian. Told him that i would help, and asked Mikka to come with us so Ev could be brought with. Mikka is the best, if you pay her she'll do anything. And without Penn or Benny's moral lectures. Last thing I need is to hear another person tell me not to kill. Julian deserves to die and thats that. Thats all I can think about right now. I refuse to think about how he's human or that I'm killing again or anything else. Basic thought process. Julian bad. Julian hurt my surgate family. Julian needs to die.

For the love of god just let me keep thinking that way. This needs to be done.

Current Mood: cold

Well the singing is over and done with thank god. Mikka is okay and not going to marry some singing demon, though she was pissed that it took us so long to find her. Sheesh, aren't we the grateful ones? Maybe I should of re-thought letting her be taken by the demon as well.

Izzy and Penn left for Greece for something, leaving India, Aidan and me in charge of her siblings while she was gone. I fortunatly got dubbed the one that handles all the supernatural problems. Which pretty means I don't do much unless there's a demon or magic problem, which awesome.

I have to admit, I probably would of offered to help more since Aidan seemed pretty stressed out at keeping track of all of them. But then Evan called and asked me to go with him to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and a visit with his grandmere. Said that he needed the moral support of it. Heh, and he askes me? wow I don't know whether to be touched or worried about him if he's asking me for moral support.

Well since I'm a good friend that wanted a free trip to New Orleans during Mardi Gras, I asked India to watch Benny and I told Aidan that if he needed me for whatever reason, to just call my cell phone and I would teleport right back. But hey, so far so good with Aidan not calling me, just me calling him along with India periodically to see if he's not just trying to be a tough guy that refuses to ask for help. And the trip to his grandmere Evangeline went very well, so now there's just the party part of the trip, which we're going to join Eva and Cristoff and go to a bar, which should be a good time.

*goes over to Evan after calling India to check on things* "Okay sorry about that. Ready to go?"

Current Mood: content

Okay, that was freaky as hell. I mean I literally started burning up while I was singing. I could feel my body get all hot and it was like my blood was boiling. I was lucky that Benny was home otherwise I would of been fucked and burnt to a crisp. I'm not even really sure what happened either, I mean its like all the emotions I had about what was going on and stuff in the past were coming to the surface and burnign me out with the singing. Which you know what? Would of never happened if those fucking actors could of gotten a simple task right and gotten my soul but nope!

Well whatever, after my little smoke display, Benny decided that she wanted to talk to Giles. He pretty much told us the same stuff that he does when he doesn't know whats going on. *mimics him* "We aren't quite sure of the source of this but we have some very promising leads at this moment". Right sure, possible leads. I'm guessing the leads consist of that this could possibly be be a spell, a demon, or a demon with a spell, or some strange anomaly. Which narrows it down SO well. Well at least the trip wasn't completely useless. He told us that there are people burning up all over town and that they would keep a look out for Mikka. And heh, the look he gave when I said that Benny was related to me followed by the glasses cleaning? Pretty much made my day.

But to add to everything, now Rhia and her cubs showed up to join the insanity which is this place. Apparently Des got a vision (or hearsion? I'm not sure, apparently there were no visuals or something) about some people that she regonized burning up. Good news was that she didn't seem to hear my voice in the vision (or whatever) so I think I'm safe. Bad news? Now to add to the freakage going out here, I am now worried about one of the cubs burning up. Which great, just when I thought i could go out and enjoy watching people burn up, but no. Gotta make sure its not one of the cubs or someone else I know first. Joy.

Eh, at least I got to see Eric do the moonwalk and a whole musical number. That was pretty entertaining.

And Mikka? Very much with the missing. Its really starting to freak me out, we've been looking everywhere for her. And I mean pretty much anyone that would hear me out. And still no real sign of her. I'm really hoping nothing bad happen to her like her being burned up. But I'm still doubting that, because Mikka has never been repressed, considering that would require her to be able not to say every thought that pops in her head I'll just keep looking around for her, ask around in the demon bars. You know, try to force some information out of the demons by intimidation....which would work a lot better if I wasn't 5'. Eh, I'll just hit it out of them.

Current Mood: stressed